-I'm getting so nervous about this trip. Mostly because I am not at all ready in any way shape or form. I still have tons of shit I have to buy, for one thing, and then I have to decide what I'm taking, and then pack it all. And now I'm having dreams about the flight because I'm terrified of flying over an ocean.

-When things are too difficult for me to deal with... I just don't deal with them. At all.

-I'm hungry. I've been eating really poorly and not exercising.. this has to stop. I have to take care of myself.

-LOST season finale on Wednesday yeahhh! Too bad I got spoiled already, big time. It's my own damn fault. It's one of my top 3 mysteries on the show, too.. so I should be excited (I only know a few details) but instead I'm just mad at myself and disappointed, because it would have been such a huge surprise. ugh.

-I have a headache and cramps.

-I'm sad about not seeing my dog for almost a month.

-I wish that I wanted to spend another summer at home, because that would mean that all my friendships haven't changed and I'm still capable of being happy there. But I'm sooo not. I miss when it felt like home. I guess it never will again.

-Okay I'm going to go make eggs.

Okay.

I am going to be 20 in a few months.

It's time to grow up and get the fuck on with my life.

I've spent way too much time sitting on my ass waiting for things to happen to me.

No more.

My xanga suuuuuckkksss